Buy the meat. Show it what a flame looks like. Serve. Preferably cold.kaos@freenet.edmonton.ab.ca
GYPSYARI@delphi.com
While they're not vegetarians of any ilk, they thought the idea of eating
something "barely warm, bloody, and looking like it's alive" more than a little repulsive.
But I >LIKE< ordering "a steak cooked just long enough to slow down the bacteria."
Cusraque@tiac.net
I Always Tell the Waitperson: "Light a Match Near the Cow, Kill It, Cut It Up, Then Bring It 2 Me..." I _Used_ 2 Say: "Make It So Rare that a Good Veterinarian could Cure It".
petro@suba.com
Just lead it to the stove, shoot it, show it the flame and bring
it to the table.
Lady Christine cris@ici.net
Introduce it to the stove & then walk it away! Or flame it, flip it, flame once more
and serve immediately.
Lena Wampler
Sarah Anne Smith shared with the class:
fooman@netcom.com
And from rec.humor.funny, dcojeda@ix.netcom.com
WAITRESS: And for you, sir?
wi23+@andrew.cmu.edu
lena, who used to beg for raw ground meat along with the cat...
[Hitler] called broth "corpse tea".
"I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian
because I hate plants." -- unknown comedian (in the Fuck, I can't remember
category)
"I want a burger. Rare. I want it to 'mooooo' when I tear into it." --
my friend Crystal, trying to order at Bob's Big Puke (er...boy)
The other day, a friend of mine (from Texas) and I went out to a local
steakhouse. This is the dialog that followed after I made my order.
JOHN: I'll have the top sirloin.
WAITRESS: And how would you like that cooked.
JOHN: Just whack off the horns, wipe its ass, and throw it on the
plate.
WAITRESS: Rare?
JOHN: Rare.
Here, let me tell you my standpoint on eating animals.
I like red meat,
RED red meat.
It's great, I can't get enough of it.
In fact,
whenever I go to a steak joint,
I ask the staff if there is anychance that I might get
to look at the animal I will be eating that evening.
So the nice people at the restaurant
walk the cow out into the dining room,
and I turn my chair around,
and look right into his eyes and say
"I'm gonna eat you, Motherfucker."
I COULD go into the part with the chainsaw,
but I think that I've made my point.
and also:
Hmmm,
I suppose it's good that I didn't tell you
about the time that I went into a vegetarian
restaurant and asked for bunny-on-a-stick.
Ever seen a vegan go pale?
Neither had I. . .